In a world full of loneliness and pessimism, I found joy. I wasn't looking for it but it happened. It blind sided me. It came out of nowhere. Somehow it managed to grab my attention despite my stubbornness to reject any life in my world.
This moment lasted almost 6 months. It was a beautiful one. I did things I had never done before. I felt more loved that I had ever done before. I felt like a blossomed flower, alive! It took me to places I had never imagined visiting. I often wondered why I couldn't see Earth as a whole. I was at the top of the world.
Needless to say, things happen. Feelings change. In this case, we weren't enough for each other. Our minds and hearts weren't compatible. While one saw love through the eyes of a magical and fantasy world, the other one saw the reality of our tragic and actual presence. Life was different for each other.
I won't regret anything I did or anything I said. I won't forget one single memory. I loved every single good and sad moment. I choose to appreciate those joyful and happy moments we spent together and hope that my future remains as bright and filled with many more, wherever that might be.
I might not know how to love yet but there is one thing I do know how to do, I know how to appreciate. I appreciate life for these lovely broken moments.
Love,
A Lovely Broken Heart
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The Fantasy of Love
I used to think Love was never for me. For the longest time, Love to me was more like a fantasy. An imaginary fragment of life that I never thought to come across. At the same time, I was living in a world where I refused to know how love felt. Living day by day, I always kept my distance avoiding hearing the word or even daring mentioning it. Just the thought of knowing how love felt made me cringe my toes.
I had heard of several friends who had experienced "love" only to be heartbroken later, seen several movies where love decimated people's lives, read several stories where love took control of people's lives. I was scared.
The word itself sounds so simple. Just a four letter word. You can find it in any book or any movie, postcard, balloon. There's even a universal symbol just for that word.
To some, it's more like a taboo. It's a word that you can't say just anywhere, or to everyone, or at any time. It's a word reserved for that "special someone" you meet in your life.
Though different people find different uses to love, I think, love is often utilized to obscure and hide our loneliness. As human beings I feel we attempt to love to diverge from the empty abyss we are all scared of. We are afraid to be or be perceived as lonely.
Unfortunately, love to many is just a fantasy. In the end, it's not love people seek. In the end it's the fear of being lonely that makes us seek the fantasy of love. We fear loneliness, so we pretend to love. Now I, myself, seek true love, even if it's just a fantasy I'm chasing after.
I had heard of several friends who had experienced "love" only to be heartbroken later, seen several movies where love decimated people's lives, read several stories where love took control of people's lives. I was scared.
The word itself sounds so simple. Just a four letter word. You can find it in any book or any movie, postcard, balloon. There's even a universal symbol just for that word.
To some, it's more like a taboo. It's a word that you can't say just anywhere, or to everyone, or at any time. It's a word reserved for that "special someone" you meet in your life.
Though different people find different uses to love, I think, love is often utilized to obscure and hide our loneliness. As human beings I feel we attempt to love to diverge from the empty abyss we are all scared of. We are afraid to be or be perceived as lonely.
Unfortunately, love to many is just a fantasy. In the end, it's not love people seek. In the end it's the fear of being lonely that makes us seek the fantasy of love. We fear loneliness, so we pretend to love. Now I, myself, seek true love, even if it's just a fantasy I'm chasing after.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Beautiful Monster
Why is love so beautiful yet so ugly? It’s a passionate disease that comes along very rarely but when it shows up it’s like an elephant in your room, you can’t ignore it. Love can lift you up or knock you down. It’s unexpected yet so desired. It’s usually never where you look for it but it’s always lingering around. Love can be the best thing that ever happened to you or your worst nightmare. It can take you forward to the dreams of your life or it can tie you up on a ride to hell. Love is sweet and gentle yet unmanageable and unpredictable, it can even control our lives.Love is beautiful and charming, yet so uncanny. It can be rewarding or a burden for life. Love is filled with joy and sorrow.It’s everything you want and everything you don’t. Love is just a rollercoaster with thrilling dives and spins and a world of joy and pain.
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